Preparing your child to have siblings – Four tips

Having siblings is a major transition for a child. With a little preparation, you can make it easier for your child to become a big sister or big brother. Here we give you four tips to prepare your child for having siblings.

Let the child be involved in the preparations for the baby

Involve the child in preparing things for their sibling! There's a lot to prepare before the baby arrives. Look at baby clothes, make up a bed in the stroller or choose toys for the baby together with the child.

"During the pregnancy, we talked a lot with our older daughter about how she is as important to the baby as we are as parents, and that she needs to help us. She chose a toy that she gave to her little sister at the maternity ward. Her little sister subsequently had it with her everywhere, and we talked about how secure her little sister became when she received the toy that big sister had selected so carefully," Sara says

Talk about what it can be like to have siblings

Having siblings is a major, transformative event. Prepare the child by meeting babies, reading books about having siblings, and showing pictures of when the child was a baby herself or himself. For example, slightly older children might want the baby to be a specific sex. If that is the case, tell your child clearly that you don't know if it will be a little brother or a little sister.
"When I had my third, the older siblings were very happy. But there was a bit of a fuss about what sex they wanted. My daughter wanted a little sister and her big brother wanted a little brother. Big sister was disappointed when we found out the sex. But that passed once he was born and now everyone is happy and pleased about the little tyrant," Daniella says.

Let the child play and fantasize about having siblings

Role play with dolls is a fantastic way to help children develop their empathy, imagine what it's like to have siblings, and learn how to take care of a baby. If you react to how your child plays with the doll, ask him or her what they are doing and what he or she thinks others feel when they do so. Remember, all reactions are acceptable.

"At first, our daughter was very excited, but once her little brother had arrived and we were back from the maternity ward, I was met by a very dismissive daughter at home. A daughter who used to be mummy’s girl suddenly wouldn't let me touch her. That was really tough! But she just needed time to get used to it," Linn says.

Put the child's feelings into words

Children who can identify their feelings can manage them better. Happy, sad and everything in between are normal feelings! Ask your child what they think about having siblings and help them put their feelings into words. Prepare yourself for the child to be disappointed. It's okay that the child thinks it's tough to have siblings. However, it is not always simple for children to express their feelings, but through play, you can help your child to understand better how it feels. Role play with dolls is a great way to talk about emotions. Think of the doll as a friend who can sometimes be happy, angry, scared, sad, angry or calm. Note that it is completely normal to experience different emotions. Together you can also talk about what is okay to do when feeling, for example, disappointed or sad.

– Our daughter received the news of the pregnancy with great joy and anticipation. But when the little sister came home, our five-year-old girl suddenly needed more attention and started talking baby language. What helped a lot was setting aside time we spent exclusively with her. We played and talked together about how it felt. What was a great relief for her was to understand that all emotions are okay, even if she felt angry, disappointed or sad to become a big sister, Alaa says.